It is the hashtag I created 7 years ago for my little family. It happened once my hubby and I decided that we wouldn’t try for another child. Although we wanted more I had some struggles with my back and the pain I experienced with my 2nd pregnancy (my 1st was a miscarriage) was excruciating due to a spinal injury.
Just looking back on my second pregnancy gives me anxiety. The 9 months of pregnancy followed with the first 6 months after his birth was terrible, & I didn’t think I could do it again!
However, two years ago when our son was 5, my hubby and I discussed the option of having another child and how it would be nice for my son to have a sibling.
After losing a big chunk of weight which helped in managing my back pain we decided to try. “Let’s do this. Let’s try”.
Our motto was always ‘If it happens it happens, and if it doesn’t it doesn’t’.
We tried for a long period and despite our attempts I just wasn’t falling pregnant. Which, at the time was ok but in the back of my mind I kept thinking how and why is this happening to me and so many other women I know. But I stayed positive and grateful because I already had a beautiful son.
As ridiculous as this sounds 5 months ago I couldn’t sleep because I was busy thinking about our new ‘hashtag’. What would it be ….
Both hubby and I couldn’t believe I had fallen pregnant after trying for so long! That’s right I was pregnant!
As everyone does, we agreed to keep it on the ‘hush’ until the safe mark (except for our immediate family).
Unfortunately 9 weeks into the pregnancy I found out I had an ectopic pregnancy which wasnt picked up in time and erupted without any signs or symptoms. It was the scariest moment of my life as I had no idea what was happening to my body. Thank God for my mum and hubby’s quick thinking. If it wasn’t for that ambulance I would have died. They literally saved my life.
After waking up in intensive care I was told that if they had waited another 5 minutes before ringing triple 000 I would not have made it. I lost over 4 litres of blood internally (our bodies hold around 6 litres).
It was very emotional for me. Really tough to take in. But as soon as I saw my son and hubby walk through my hospital room door, I was so thankful. Thankful that I was alive and O.K for them. Of course I was sad about losing my baby but nothing else mattered when I realised my little family was ok and we still had each other.
After 8 slow weeks of recovery I was back in my routine physically. It took a little longer for me to recover mentally. I couldn’t sleep and was suffering from anxiety. Thankfully with the support of my family and friends especially all my beautiful females I am managing and getting through the pain day by day.
Out of all this I have learnt and thought just like with anything, we shouldn’t be greedy and want more from life but rather appreciate and be greatful with what have and can hold onto. The way I see it, everything happens for a reason. And even if you can’t see the reason right away…we always end up seeing it and you must believe it to move forward.
As much as I know my son would be a beautiful brother (dont worry he is 1 to so many of his cousins) I now know in my heart, it’s always meant to be #justthethreeofus 🖤